The Way Love Works
by Sara11
Summary: *CH.7 UP!* Set a few days after Riley leaves. Buffy is upset, but is comforted by Spike. Their friendship quickly grows into more, but can Buffy admit it? Okay, that is a horrible summary. This is a Spuffy fic. Oh, Spike loves Buffy but hasn\'t told her
1. The Way Love Works

The Way Love Works  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. No Buffy, no Spike, no nothing.  
  
  
  
Summary: Set a few days after Riley leaves. Buffy is upset, but is comforted by Spike. Their friendship quickly grows into more, but can Buffy admit it? Okay, that is a horrible summary. Most important thing to remember . . . Spuffy. This is a Spuffy fic. Romance/Fluff/angsty (but not too angsty). Oh, Spike loves Buffy but hasn't told her, yet.  
  
A/N: I know in the beginning of the chapter it may seem a bit moping over Riley-centric but it's not. I would not put you through the torment that is Riley angst.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Go away, Spike." Buffy spoke as she stood, arms crossed, in front of him. She tried her best to put on her 'I hate you evil fiend' act, but to be honest with herself, she wasn't exactly put off by his presence yet she wasn't thrilled by it either. Ever since Riley had left a few days ago it seemed she always wanted someone around. It was easier when someone was there; it kept her mind off . . . him. Even though she hadn't loved him, she was upset that he left her. He was the third, and probably not the last, to leave. Having someone to distract her was a plus, even if that someone was Spike.  
  
  
  
"I'm just here to help, Slayer." Spike explained.  
  
  
  
"Exactly, Slayer. That's me. I -really- don't need your help." She spoke scornfully only to be tackled milliseconds later by a scrawny vampire. Buffy struggled under the vamp for some time as Spike watched. Finally his feelings got the best of him and he swiftly moved towards the two.  
  
  
  
"Don't need my help." he mumbled under his breath as he threw the vampire off of the petite blonde, "Like hell you don't."  
  
  
  
The vampire quickly regained his strength, though, and charged at Spike. Spike easily dodged the punch that was aimed for his head. He kicked the vamp in the stomach and sent a strong fist cramming into the vampire's jaw.  
  
  
  
Buffy just lay on the ground, watching the fight. She didn't make any attempt to move or even say if she had been hurt or not. The vampire hadn't been strong, really. Not stronger than any she had fought before. He definitely wasn't stronger than Spike, seeing as he was beating the crap out of the vamp. But for some reason, Buffy had found herself not able to fight him. There was nothing there. No adrenaline rush, no readied quips, no sense of knowing she was going to win. As a matter of fact, the past few days had been just those, days. Her job as the slayer seemed just that, a job. Nothing seemed to have a point, anymore. She tried to convince herself that it was just a lack if training or just lack of evil that was worth her tiring herself out. But she knew what it really was; she just never wanted to admit. The shock of Riley leaving had been too much and she felt herself shut down. It wasn't the way she wanted it to be, she wanted to be happy. Bit he was her constant, the one thing that was always there, then suddenly, he wasn't.  
  
  
  
Buffy was torn from her thoughts as the sound of her former attacker exploding into dust raged through the air. Buffy closed her eyes and swallowed hard. When she opened them a pale hand was extended out. Buffy willing took the hand and pulled herself up. Buffy stood for a moment, looking into the ice blue eyes of the man, or vampire, who had saved her life.  
  
  
  
No, Riley wasn't her constant, Spike was. He might not have been a good constant, but she could always count on him being there with something annoying to say. She could count on him to help her kill the baddies, and when it was needed he had been there to help her.  
  
  
  
"What happened there, pet." Spike said as he looked from where she had been laying to where she was standing.  
  
  
  
Buffy noticed her hand was still resting in his and quickly pulled away. "Nothing." She said.  
  
  
  
"Didn't look like nothing to me, luv. Looked like you were about to become that wanker's first meal." Spike told her.  
  
  
  
"I don't wanna talk about it." She said as she began walking home. It hadn't been the truth, of course. She wanted to talk about it; she needed to talk about it. The emptiness she felt . . . she didn't know what to do. She needed so badly for someone to tell her what to do.  
  
  
  
She turned to see Spike walking in the other direction and called out, "Spike?"  
  
  
  
He stopped suddenly and turned around, concern plastered on his face. "Yeah, pet?"  
  
  
  
"Walk me home?"  
  
  
  
Buffy wasn't sure, but it seemed there was a hint of a smile on his face as he answered. "Of course."  
  
  
  
****  
  
  
  
Buffy turned her key in the lock and pushed open the door. She walked in, but stopped when she realized Spike wasn't following her. She turned to see him standing in the doorway, looking unsure of himself.  
  
  
  
"Spike, you already have an invite." She told him.  
  
  
  
"I know that, pet. I-I just wasn't sure if you wanted me to come in or not, that's all."  
  
  
  
"Since when have you ever care whether I want you in here or not?" She asked, confused.  
  
  
  
"Since . . . right, okay. I don't care." He said defensively. He stepped quickly into the house and Buffy rolled her eyes. She made her way into the kitchen and threw her keys on the counter. Spike followed and watched as she sat on a stool, propping herself up on both elbows. She wasn't looking at anything, really. Just staring with a far off look in her eye.  
  
  
  
"So, the family is not home?" Spike asked, trying not to sound uncomfortable.  
  
  
  
"Do you see them here?" She asked her voice cold and not removing her eyes from their current location.  
  
  
  
"Right." He said softly. "I'll be off then. You look like you can . . . right. I'll just go." Spike walked towards the door when he heard Buffy begin to speak.  
  
  
  
"So I'm wondering," She began softly. Spike looked around expecting to find someone else in the room, but failed to find anyone, "if this is how it is always going to be."  
  
  
  
Spike walked towards her and stood behind her, being careful not to get to close.  
  
  
  
"I mean, meet a guy, develop feelings for the guy, maybe fight evil side by side for some time then . . . gone. Is that how it's supposed to be? Because honestly, I can't see it going any other way. Can't seem to find a new pattern." Buffy spoke almost in a whisper.  
  
  
  
"You know that's not how it's supposed to be, luv. You just haven't found the right guy, yet, s'all." He told her.  
  
  
  
"Oh, and I suppose you know all about that, right? Finding the right one? Y'know, cause your so happy with Harmony." Buffy said.  
  
  
  
"Hey, you're the one who wanted to talk to me. I could be off doin' better, more important things so I suggest you---"  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry." Buffy cut him off. Spike stood there, silent for a while, but then spoke.  
  
  
  
"It's not you, you know that, right?" He asked.  
  
  
  
Buffy looked up at him, her eyes filled with pain, tears slowly forming.  
  
  
  
"Oh no Buffy." He said softly, and without thinking, placed a hand on her back, "It could never be you. It's just . . . it's your job. No one can really accept you and the slayer as one person. Angel couldn't do it, not really anyways. Parker, well, he doesn't really count." Spike looked over at Buffy and saw her smile slightly. "And Captain Cardboard, well, it didn't seem like he could handle it at all. I would see you two together and it was always competition. Not on your part, but his. He felt inferior to you and that was just his problem, something he made up in his head, luv. If they can't accept the slayer in you, than honestly Buffy, they're not worth it.  
  
  
  
Love doesn't just come to you. It takes time, lots of time. You could be in love right now, and not even know it. It's amazing, but you can work with, or hate, a person for years before realizing that you don't truly hate them. That everything you've felt was powered by love, everything you've done. It seems strange, but it's true. Buffy, when you find love . . . you'll know it."  
  
  
  
"But what if I d---" Buffy was cut off.  
  
  
  
"You will." He said sternly.  
  
  
  
Neither of them had realized it, but in the moment he was speaking they had moved closer together. Spike was now sitting on the stool next to her, and they were both facing each other. Their hands were gripped tightly in each other's and they were only inches apart. Buffy looked into is eyes and saw something she had never seen before-him.  
  
  
  
She reached up and brushed his cheek with her hand. "William." She whispered. She moved her hand to the back of his head and pulled him forward, pressing her lips on his. He was hesitant at first, but then relaxed into the kiss, letting her tongue invade his mouth.  
  
  
  
"Buffy?" Willow called from the hallway.  
  
  
  
Buffy immediately broke from Spike and covered her mouth. She was panting heavily but the groan of disgust at the realization of who she had been kissing had been unmistakable.  
  
  
  
"Oh god." She whimpered.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Do you like? Should I continue? Please review!  
  
insert shameless plug for other fic below  
  
And if you haven't already please check out my other fic "Close to You". 


	2. Mistake?

Mistake?  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. No Buffy, no Spike, no nothing.  
  
  
  
A/N: Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! They mean so much to me!  
  
  
  
****  
  
  
  
"O-oh god. Oh, no. No, no, no, no." Buffy said quickly as she moved from her seat. She spoke to herself quietly, wiping her mouth. She quickly walked passed Spike, making sure not to make eye contact.  
  
  
  
Spike just sat quietly, his undead heart slowly breaking. She had kissed him. He kissed her back. It was passionate, desperate, but it ended and now she was disgusted with herself. Yeah, he really had a way with women, he thought as he maneuvered off his seat. But still he couldn't help but feel that she had felt something in that kiss. It might not have been love, but there was something there. The way she had wrapped herself around him, so tight. It felt almost as if she needed him. The way the heat of her body had made him feel almost alive, it was like . . . magic.  
  
  
  
He heard them talking in the hall, something about Giles and research. Nothing too big, but being the evil, soul1ess monster that he was he joined them anyway.  
  
  
  
"So, what's the big bad now?" Spike asked. He looked around from face to face, and when he caught Buffy's eye she quickly averted them so she was looking at the floor. He noticed she was wringing her hands nervously and it made him wonder . . . could she have wanted him? Could she have wanted to finish what they started? He smirked a little and saw her cheeks flush, which made him smirk even larger.  
  
  
  
Xander noticed the interaction between the two, but chose to ignore it.  
  
  
  
"What's evil dead doing here?" Xander asked.  
  
  
  
Spike looked over at Buffy and saw the look of worry that played across her face.  
  
  
  
"Just a little post patrol conversation. That a problem for you, mate?" He asked looking over at Xander.  
  
  
  
"As a matter of fact, I . . . nevermind. I don't have time to stand and argue with you. I'm tired, I'm going home." Xander turned to Buffy, "You want me to take him out with me?" Xander asked, glancing over at Spike.  
  
  
  
"Uh, no. It, uh, it's alright." Buffy said quietly.  
  
  
  
"Alright, so tomorrow, seven, Giles' place." Xander nodded at Buffy before exiting.  
  
  
  
Spike stood still for a moment no sure what to say. It was just them, again. All alone. Buffy walked slowly into the living room and began picking up a few odds and ends. Spike followed her, and tucking his hands in his pockets he spoke.  
  
  
  
"Look, Buffy. About before, I . . . it was a moment and I---"  
  
  
  
"Just forget about it." Buffy said.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry." He said, loud but soft in tone. "Y-you were upset and I took advantage of that. I didn't mean to . . . I'm sorry."  
  
  
  
For the first time since they had had their little moment, Buffy looked him in the eye. "It was a mistake. You know that, right?"  
  
  
  
"I do." He told her. He said it quickly, but still he felt a pain rise in his chest. He couldn't remember a time when he had hurt so bad, not even after Dru left him. Of course he hadn't loved Dru the way he loved Buffy. But to have the woman you love kiss you, then take it back . . . it killed him.  
  
  
  
"I better go then." He said softly.  
  
  
  
"Yeah." She whispered. "But thank you . . . for what you said. I-it, uh, it meant a lot."  
  
  
  
Spike couldn't help but smile, "Anytime, luv."  
  
  
  
Spike walked out the door and before she closed it he turned around. He was about to say something when her fist collided with his jaw, sending him stumbling back a bit.  
  
  
  
"Bloody hell! What'd you do that for?" He asked, confused out of his mind.  
  
  
  
"Because if anybody ever finds out about this . . . *you* kissed *me*." She said. She couldn't help but look at the confusion that played across his features and smile shyly. She watched as he smiled back and nodded his head in understanding.  
  
  
  
"Right." He said before turning to leave.  
  
  
  
Buffy smiled as she watched him leave. She shut the door and, immediately, her mind began to race.  
  
  
  
A mistake? She said it had been a mistake, but was it really? The way he had made her feel, the way he had held her. It felt so right when she had been in his arms. She shuddered as she remembered the way his cool tongue battled with hers and the way his fingers danced through her hair. They had fit so perfectly. The heat of her body pressed up against his cold figure almost made her feel as if they were melting together, and it felt right there. He made her feel wanted, desirable. And the way everything fell away from them in that one moment, it was like . . . magic.  
  
  
  
She plopped down on the sofa and remembered what he had said:  
  
  
  
'You could be in love right now, and not even know it. It's amazing, but you can work with, or hate, a person for years before realizing that you don't truly hate them. That everything you've felt was powered by love, everything you've done.'  
  
  
  
It seemed to fit their situation perfectly but it couldn't be. Spike, in love with her? Never. He was probably laughing to himself right as she thought. And she didn't love him, which she was sure of. She couldn't love him because it would never work. It was impossible, insane, immoral . . . ironic? No, it was not ironic because she didn't love him, so there for there is no irony in a situation that was completely *not* ironic.  
  
  
  
"Buffy!?"  
  
  
  
"What!?" Buffy snapped as she jumped off the couch.  
  
  
  
"Jeez, jumpy much?" Dawn said as she through her bag down. "Look, I ran into Spike-"  
  
  
  
"So." Buffy said quickly.  
  
  
  
"What?" Dawn asked.  
  
  
  
"Huh?"  
  
  
  
"Buffy, what is your problem?" Dawn asked.  
  
  
  
"Nothing. Nevermind. Um, what were you saying?" She rambled.  
  
  
  
"Okay, um, I ran into Spike," Dawn paused to see if her sister would say anything, but Buffy just smiled, "and he said something about research. I figured you wouldn't want me going and I also figured you wouldn't want me staying here alone so I asked him to come and 'baby-sit' me. So, to sum up while you're researching Spike will be here." Dawn finished.  
  
  
  
"I don't care." Buffy said defensively. She cringed to herself right after she had said it. What was her problem? Oh yeah, maybe it was that she kissed Spike, he kissed her back and now these feelings surfaced that she never knew she had. Yeah, that was it.  
  
  
  
She took a deep breath and gained her composure. She was ready now, whatever Dawn had to say about Spike she could handle.  
  
  
  
"Buffy? What is wrong with you? I mention Spike and you get all defensive-y on me." Dawn's face lit up, "are you two having a fling type . . . thing?"  
  
  
  
Buffy could handle anything . . . expect that. "No." She snapped. "Now go to bed." Dawn began to speak but Buffy shushed her with a look that read 'don't mess with me'. After Dawn was upstairs Buffy flopped down on the sofa, again, and sighed.  
  
  
  
She was in big trouble.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Sorry, I know this one was kinda short, but at least I got it done. I haven't really found time to work on my fics because of school, but it snowed today! So, we have a snow day and I thought, 'what better to do with my time than work on my fic. What? Actual school work? Nah, that can wait till later.'  
  
Reviews? Anybody? Please? 


	3. Run Ins

Title  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
  
  
A/N: Um, just in case you were wondering Buffy's mom is in the hospital. I know she wasn't *actually* in there when Riley left, but I forgot to write her in so I am just having her be in the hospital for treatment and observation.  
  
****  
  
  
  
Buffy groggily opened her eyes and looked around. The couch. She had fallen asleep on the couch after having many Spike filled thoughts, which would explain the annoying Spike filled dreams. Buffy pushed herself up and looked out the window. It was dark out so it must have been really early in the morning . . .  
  
  
  
"Bout time you woke up." Dawn said as she came in from the kitchen.  
  
  
  
. . . or late at night.  
  
  
  
"How long was I sleeping?" Buffy asked.  
  
  
  
"All day." Dawn simply stated as she plopped down a chair across from the sofa.  
  
  
  
"Oh god." Buffy groaned as she wiped some stray hairs away from her face. "Oh, oh research! Giles'! Oh I am so late." She said as she got up from the sofa.  
  
  
  
"Actually, it is only 6:50 so you do have ten minutes!" Dawn called as Buffy ran up the stairs.  
  
  
  
Buffy came down as fast as she had gone up. She had thrown her hair up into a sloppy, most likely crooked, pony tail. She had quickly changed her top and thrown on an extra swipe of deodorant.  
  
  
  
"Okay Dawnie," Buffy said as she grabbed the keys to the house, "I'm leaving. Don't burn the house down." Buffy looked back at Dawn just in time to catch her rolling her eyes.  
  
  
  
"I mean it," Buffy said sternly, but her tone quickly changed and said, "I love you."  
  
  
  
"Love you too." Dawn said flatly. Buffy smiled quickly and yelled a small "bye" before closing the door behind her.  
  
  
  
"God I can just hear Giles now," Buffy said to herself , " 'as the slayer you have a responsibility to be . . . responsible.' Okay, so that isn't the perfect Giles impression but---"  
  
  
  
"Talking to ourselves now are we?" Buffy felt a smile creep across her face as she heard a smooth British accent call from behind her. She quickly forced a smile off her face, though, and turned to face him.  
  
  
  
"They say that is the first sign of insanity, or is that loneliness? I guess, seeing how loneliness leads to insanity, that it doesn't really matter, does it?" Spike asked as he sauntered up towards her, a smirk plastered on his face.  
  
  
  
"No, it really doesn't Spike," Buffy replied, "nothing that comes out of *your* mouth ever matters." She told him. Before he had a chance to reply she cut him off.  
  
  
  
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, looking around her neighborhood.  
  
  
  
"I thought the bit told you?" Spike said confused.  
  
  
  
"Dawn?" Buffy asked.  
  
  
  
"No, your other big ball of green energy sister that opens the gates to a hell dimension. Yes Dawn." Spike said.  
  
  
  
"Dawn. Oh, right. You're the babysitter." Buffy smiled slightly at the thought of her once mortal enemy babysitting her sister. A vampire protecting the key for the slayer . . . not exactly something you would see everyday. Buffy looked at her watch and sighed heavily.  
  
  
  
"Well, your late so just . . . " Buffy trailed off when she noticed the woman standing behind Spike. She wore black leather pants, blood red top, and her red streaked hair was pulled back, almost as sloppily as Buffy's.  
  
  
  
"Who's this?" Buffy asked, peering over his shoulder.  
  
  
  
"Hmm?" Spike looked over his shoulder as well, "Oh, uh, just a friend." He said, running his hands through his hair.  
  
  
  
"A friend?" Buffy asked skeptically.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, a friend."  
  
  
  
"Does Harmony know about this 'friend'?" Buffy asked.  
  
  
  
"Harm is gone, Slayer." Buffy's felt a weight lifted off her shoulders when she heard him say those words, but it was quickly replaced by a pang of jealousy as she realized that this woman, if that was even an appropriate word, was his new 'love'-if *that* was even an appropriate word.  
  
  
  
Buffy came up closer to Spike and tried to ignore the intoxicating scent that danced around her nose. "And that," she said pointing behind him, "is your rebound? C'mon Spike, I know you're evil but vampires have standards as well." Buffy told him.  
  
  
  
"Actually we don't. That's a rumor that somehow got around. Gives us evil doers a bad name." Spike whispered as he leaned closer to her ear. He noticed how her skin flushed and her heart began to race with every step he took.  
  
  
  
"But," he whispered seductively. His cool breath tickled her ear and the cool of his arms around her waist pulling her into him made a chill run down her spine. He smirked as her breathing became heavy, "if you're jealous . . ." he trailed off and gently nibbled on her ear.  
  
  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and bit her lip a bit. She wanted so badly to pull his lips onto hers in furious passion, but she restrained herself. Her eyes shot open and she pushed him off of her.  
  
  
  
"You're bent." She spit out. "I could never be jealous of any trash that was sleeping with you."  
  
  
  
Spike's face was now scrawling with confusion. "But, last night . . . "  
  
  
  
"I told you that was a mistake." She lied through her teeth.  
  
  
  
"Really? A mistake? Y'know I thought so too, but I thought about it, Buffy. About you. You never kiss a guy without it meaning anything to you and neither do I." Spike told her.  
  
  
  
"Yes you do." Buffy said.  
  
  
  
"Well, yeah I do." He paused for a moment, and then looked at the ground, "but not with you." He said quietly.  
  
  
  
"Spike?" Buffy said quietly. He lifted his head and instantly her eyes locked with his. They were full of so much sincerity . . . and it confused her. Did he actually care?  
  
  
  
"What do you mean?" She whispered.  
  
  
  
He just stood there, not saying anything. He hadn't had the slightest idea what to say. Should he tell her the truth? Yeah, that would work well. 'Buffy, I love you. I love you so much. There's never a time when I don't think about you. I need you more than I've needed anything or anyone in my life.' Right, wouldn't that be brilliant. He would be sure to be staked. He was about to cover when he heard to small beeps come from Buffy's watch.  
  
  
  
Buffy looked down at her watch, which read seven o'clock p.m.  
  
  
  
"Shit." She said quietly. "Okay, y'know what let's not do this. I'm late, you're late. J-just, go. I'll go, you'll go, she'll go," Buffy said pointing to the woman behind Spike, who hadn't said anything the entire time, "although *not* to my house." Buffy said, shooting a glance towards Spike, who nodded his head.  
  
  
  
Buffy headed off in the direction towards Giles' house, but not before looking back to see Spike push passed his nameless 'friend', seeming a bit hurt.  
  
  
  
There was no doubt in her mind she would be having a long talk with him later.  
  
  
  
***** Sorry this took so long and thank you to everybody who has reviewed! Please keep the reviews coming! A reviewed author is a motivated author . . . or something like that. And thank you to those who haven't reviewed but have been reading! 


	4. Sweet Dreams

Sweet Dreams  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. No, Buffy, no Spike, no nothing.  
  
  
  
A/N: SO sorry this took so long. I was SO busy and I didn't really have any motivation. But it is here now so . . . read it! I hope the naughty dream sequence I threw in there for you makes it all better.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Buffy entered Giles' house and was greeted with numerous 'where were you' 'are you alright' and 'hellos'--- the "where were you" mostly being Giles.  
  
  
  
She answered their questions one by one, lying of course, about where she had been. Unlike most twenty-somes saying "I spotted a vampire nest and decided to check it out" is a valid excuse and is often used as a 'get out of jail free card'. This scenario was no exception.  
  
  
  
"So, I'm guessing by the utterly bored expressions that we have no new info." Buffy said before seating herself at Giles' desk.  
  
  
  
"A big, fat, stinkin' zero." Willow complained. "Although I did find out why that rh'eitellep demon you fought a few days back stinks like no tomorrow. Apparently is has something to do with the rat pellets it keeps under his tongue which is actually located---"  
  
  
  
"T-that's . . . enough." Giles said, pressing against his temples.  
  
  
  
Buffy crinkled her nose. "Ew."  
  
  
  
"I second that ew and add a yick." Xander said.  
  
  
  
"Uh right then," Giles started, "I guess we'll continue with the research . . . as always." Giles moved over towards the stairs and Xander, Willow, Tara, and Anya went back to the books they had previously been reading.  
  
  
  
"Woo hoo . . . " Buffy said quietly to herself as she crinkled her nose to shield it from the wave of musty, old book smell that came flying at her, " . . . research party."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"So Bit, what'll it be?" Spike asked as he looked through the refrigerator.  
  
  
  
Dawn sat on a stool not far from Spike. "Already ate. But if there's something you want go right ahead and are you and Buffy having a thing?"  
  
  
  
"Thanks Bit, but I'm not to keen on . . ." Spike looked up from the fridge throwing a puzzled look Dawn's way, " . . . what?"  
  
  
  
"You and Buffy. Hare you having a thing? I mean, she got all defensive-y and blush-y when I mentioned you yesterday." She paused but soon continued. "A-and hey, if you are it is no big. It's actually kinda cool. It's obvious how you feel about my sister and---"  
  
  
  
"Oh? And how's that pet?" Spike asked, now starting to worry.  
  
  
  
"You love her. And, as I was saying, you would be like my big brother." Dawn said quickly.  
  
  
  
"Bit I have no idea what you are talking about. And I can assure you I have no such feelings for the Slayer and--- she really blushed?" Spike asked.  
  
  
  
"Oh sure, you have no feeling for my sister whatsoever." Dawn said dryly as she turned in her seat and headed for the stairs.  
  
  
  
Spike stood in the kitchen trying to suppress the feeling of happiness rising in his stomach. It was bordering on giddiness and he would not have himself acting like a ponce. But she has feelings for him it was definite now.  
  
  
  
Spike stood for a few minutes more before calling up to Dawn, grabbing his coat and heading out the door.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Buffy slowly opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. Yep, she had definitely fallen asleep. For how long, she couldn't say. But she did notice that there seemed to be no one around . . .  
  
  
  
"Workin' hard I see." A cool British voice spoke.  
  
  
  
. . . except Spike.  
  
  
  
Buffy ignored the wave of nervousness that ran through her body at the sound of his voice.  
  
  
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked coldly.  
  
  
  
"Felt like droppin' by is all. 'Sides, we need to talk." Spike said, pulling up a chair.  
  
  
  
"Who's with Dawn then?" Buffy asked, ignoring his demand.  
  
  
  
"The whelp and his chit were leavin' when I came in. Said they'd check in on her. Now, about our conversation I - - "  
  
  
  
"Well where's Giles? Willow? Tara?" Buffy asked, not really wanting to be alone with Spike right now for fear that she might do something she had promised herself she wouldn't . . . fall for another vampire--- hard. It might seem insane to think that he could sweep her off her feet in the next few minutes, but Spike had a way of doing things . . . a very effective way.  
  
  
  
Spike sighed. "Giles went to the Magic shop to do some spell of sorts. The birds went with him." He paused and placed a hand gently over Buffy's. She tensed but couldn't help but to smile at the gentleness of his touch. . "Just you and me, luv. And the way I see it," He slowly laced his finger's with hers and stroked her warm skin with his thumb. He moved closer to her and placed his lips near her ears and whispered, "that's good thing."  
  
  
  
Buffy swallowed hard as his cool breath tickled her ear. She felt her heart race and her hands begin to shake. She closed her eyes and arched her neck, letting him pepper soft kisses down the column of her throat. He pulled away and met her eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike moved closer, his gaze never leaving hers and kissed her tenderly. Buffy wasn't at all taken back by the gesture. Instead, she embraced the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. He softly nibbled on her bottom lip and she giggled. He pulled back, both of them breathing heavily. Buffy gently pressed her forehead to his and smiled.  
  
  
  
"I-I thought you said we needed to talk." She whispered.  
  
  
  
Spike smirked a bit. "We do."  
  
  
  
Buffy sighed. The last thing she wanted to do now was talk. "About what?"  
  
  
  
"Us." He replied simply.  
  
  
  
Buffy played with the collar of his shirt and traced his top button with her thumb. "Okay . . . " She said, undoing the button, " . . . you talk," she unbuttoned the top of his shirt and moved in to place soft kissed down his chest, " . . . and I'll listen."  
  
  
  
Spike stifled a moan as he tried to talk. "Buffy, do you . . . do you have any idea how I feel about you?"  
  
  
  
Buffy ran her hands up the back of his shirt before biting his bottom lip. "Why don't you tell me?"  
  
  
  
Spike couldn't handle it anymore. He grabbed her wrists and thrust her forward onto the desk. "Why don't I show you?" He asked as he pressed his erection against her abdomen. Buffy parted her lips and let out a small moan. Spike took the opportunity to crash his lips on hers, his tongue exploring every inch of her mouth.  
  
  
  
Buffy wrapped her legs around Spike's waist as she fumbled with the last few buttons of his shirt. She moaned against Spike's mouth as his hand traveled slowly up her thigh. He danced his fingers over her abdomen, reaching up to the fastening of her pants. He moved his hands up under her shirt to unclasp her bra. She moaned as his fingers ran slowly underneath her breasts. He moved to kiss her neck and she arched her neck for that purpose.  
  
  
  
"Buffy . . ." Spike muffled against her flesh. He ran his hands down her back to play with the top of her panties.  
  
  
  
"Spike . . . " she moaned, "I want you . . . I lo---"  
  
  
  
"Buffy . . . " Spike repeated. "Buffy . . . Buffy!"  
  
  
  
Buffy jerked her head up, in a frenzy, from the book she was resting on and wiped a bit of drool from her chin.  
  
  
  
"Huh?" She sleepily yet frantically looked around the room for who had been calling her name. Before she had a moment to contemplate what had happened in her dream, a cool, British voice spoke to her.  
  
  
  
"Oh God." She groaned.  
  
  
  
"Workin' hard I see." He laughed. "Have a nice nap?"  
  
  
  
Buffy repeated the groan. "Hardly." She lied. Having sex dreams about Spike wasn't what she considered the perfect dream, but it wasn't what she considered a nightmare either.  
  
"Guess you must have been dreamin' 'bout me then, huh?" He asked.  
  
  
  
"W-why would you think that?" She asked, furrowing her brow and scratching her head nervously.  
  
  
  
"Nevermind. Pet," he said as he pulled up a chair next to her, "we need to talk?"  
  
  
  
Buffy sighed. Where had she heard this before and did she really want to go there? She had no choice. "'Bout what?"  
  
  
  
"Us."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Again, SO sorry this took so long. I hope to get the next chapter up soon. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.  
  
  
  
Please, please review! Pleeeeeeeeease? (I find it always works better when I beg. What? Oh, dignity? Pride? ::laughs:: No, you must be confusing me with somebody else. See, I have none of that.) Please? 


	5. A Promise Worth Keeping

A Promise Worth Keeping  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If you only knew how much I don't own. Here's a hint . . . nothing. Nothing, not even a crumb of Joss Whedon's neighbor's aunt's best friend's doctor's cake do I own.  
  
  
  
A/N: Told you it would be soon. I am getting my creative juices back and a- flowin'! It's kinda short and may be a bit out of character. I think I'm a little rusty.  
  
  
  
Thank you to all my loverly reviewers! Sorry for the spoilage at the beginning of last chapter! I'll remember to keep my mouth shut next time. ;)  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Uh, us? Wh- what? Spike I-I," Buffy paused and took a deep breath. "What us? Spike, there is no us."  
  
  
  
Spike sighed. "See, Slayer I knew you'd say that. And I---"  
  
  
  
"Spike, before we inevitably and unfortunately discuss this any further . . . who's with Dawn?"  
  
  
  
"The whelp and his chit are lookin' after her. Now Buffy---"  
  
  
  
"Where is everybody else?" She cut him off.  
  
  
  
"Nobody is here. We are alone. So Buffy . . . stop stalling." He demanded. "Buffy, look, you kissed me and I---"  
  
  
  
"So, I kiss people. I kiss Dawn and my mother and . . . other people." She stuttered.  
  
  
  
"Well if you kiss them like you kissed me then you certainly have a problem." He sighed and rubbed his hands together. "Just, can we please talk?"  
  
  
  
Buffy couldn't help it. She needed him to leave before something, something that could possibly resemble her dream, would happen. She ignored her gut feeling to walk over to him and wrap her arms around his waist, rest her head against his chest and let him kiss her hair. She shut herself off and let herself become angry.  
  
  
  
"Wait . . . stop stalling?" She repeated. "Stalling what? What exactly do you think is going to happen? Well, in case you're not aware, here is how it'll go. You'll say something, I'll quip. You say something else, somehow even more annoying than before, and I'll get mad. I'll yell, you'll yell, I'll roll my eyes, punch you nice and hard and then you'll be outta here. That sound about right, Spike?"  
  
  
  
Spike grabbed her by her shoulders, obviously annoyed. "Not exactly what I had in mind." He said before pressing his lips to hers. Unconsciously Buffy returned the kiss fully, but Spike pulled away much to her chagrin. Breathless, frustrated, and confused Buffy wiped her mouth with false disgust.  
  
  
  
"Stop that." She spoke.  
  
  
  
"You can't honestly tell me that you didn't feel anything, Slayer. So tell me, again, that there is nothing to stall. Nothing to discuss."  
  
  
  
"There isn't." She insisted. Even though Spike was present in the room she was mostly talking to herself. Telling herself that there was nothing in the kiss besides disgust and anger. She wasn't very convincing.  
  
  
  
"Bollocks! You know bloody well that---"  
  
  
  
"What do you want!? What were you expecting? Were you expecting to come in here, kiss me and get a confession of undying love? " Buffy sighed and placed a hand to her forehead, "Honestly, is that what you wanted?" Partially Buffy was hoping for a 'no', but the other part of her was dying for a 'yes'.  
  
  
  
"No," Buffy secretly cringed when she heard his words. "I just wanted to know that there was a possibility. Maybe a chance that someday you would want to be with me."  
  
  
  
"Oh really? And what would you be getting out of that? D-did you make a bet with your demon buddies that you could have the Slayer eating out of your hands in two weeks? Is that it?"  
  
  
  
"Did it ever occur to you that I might actually care about you!?" He shouted over her.  
  
  
  
"Oh Spike save it. We both know that is not true. And even if it was we both know that it would never happen, that I could *never* have feelings for you. Oh sure I may have dreams---"  
  
  
  
"Dreams?"  
  
  
  
"--- and thoughts but that doesn't matter." Buffy, unknowingly, began to calm down and speak whatever entered her mind. "God and even if I did have feelings for you and you me--- it wouldn't work. I-I mean I'm the Slayer all chosen a-and defender-y. You're a vampire. Evil---which I am not. And it just wouldn't . . . " Buffy put her head in her hands and just sat. She had gone too far. Way too far. If there wasn't a chance before there definitely wasn't a chance now. " . . .work. I-it can't work because I-I . . . " Buffy looked up at Spike, tears brimming her eyes, " . . . I'm sorry."  
  
  
  
Spike rushed over to her and, crouching down, he lifted her chin and brought her lips to his. They parted and he wiped the tears from under her eyes.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered.  
  
  
  
"Shhh." He whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest.  
  
  
  
Buffy was scared. Not because she was being cradled by her mortal enemy, but because she trusted it. It felt right for him to hold her, sooth her. She felt so safe, content with his arms around her. The heat of her body and the coolness of his made it feel almost as if they melted together. There were so many words to describe it, but the one that stuck out the most in her mind was right . . . it felt right.  
  
  
  
"It can work, Slayer. It will." Spike whispered.  
  
  
  
Buffy pulled away and looked in his eyes. "You promise?"  
  
  
  
Spike smiled. "I promise."  
  
  
  
"It's weird, but for some reason . . . I believe it." She said before leaning in and brushing her lips against his.  
  
  
  
Spike grinned as she pulled away from him. This was the closest he would ever get to heaven. He jumped forward a bit and kissed her passionately. Buffy let out a little yelp, then a giggle and kissed him back, holding his face in her hands. They pulled apart, breathing heavily.  
  
  
  
Buffy's heart began to race as she heard voices from outside. Her eyes moved from the door to Spike who leaned in to kiss her once more. She put a finger to his lips to stop the gesture of affection before distancing her self from him.  
  
  
  
She smiled weakly as Giles, Willow, and Tara entered the home and filed into the living room, each babbling about a separate subject that Buffy didn't hear a word of. She shrunk down in her seat as she stole a glance at Spike who seemed more hurt than annoyed. She looked back to the group before her who didn't seem to notice how awkward she felt at the moment.  
  
  
  
They could never know.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Please review! Praise? Constructive Criticism? Suggestions? Feel free to throw in your two cents! I am open to ideas! Actually, I need them. I have ideas for later chapters, but those are a lot later. I need an idea for some sort of plot other than Spuffy fluff (don't get me wrong, I love fluff as much as the next person . . . ) possibly involving an evil being.  
  
If you have any suggestions please e-mail me at: jd_roots@yahoo.com 


	6. Deja Vu

Disclaimer: I do not, to my vexation, own anything.  
  
  
  
A/N: Thank you so much to all my wonderful reviewers and readers! Rachel, Maryann, Kate, rarachie, and Buffy fan and to everyone else who has reviewed in earlier chapters . . . thank you!  
  
  
  
Rarachie: Meant to do so. Thank you for the reminder.  
  
  
  
Buffy Fan: "Isn't there anyone who can come up with a once Buffy makes a decision she tells her friends if so tell me." I'm not too sure what you mean. Would you mind clarifying?  
  
  
  
I was going to try and stray away from Glory but it is probably best if I stick with her. There is already background info and it is less for you guys to remember.  
  
  
  
---Important--- Alright, remember how I said, in chapter 2, that Buffy's mom was still in the hospital? Well, scratch that. She's home, she's been home from the hospital all along. I realized it was just easier to do it this way. So sorry for changing it up on you again. This is it, though. She is home.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
There was no way they were allowed to know. The questions they would ask, the look on their faces if they ever found out . . . it would be too much. They have too much on their plate already. Dawn and her entire existence being nothing but fake memories, a new and wickedly strong evil by the name of Glory, her mother---and that was just to name a few.  
  
  
  
"Just to let ya know, Buff, we didn't find anything on this new evil. I mean it was spell, spell, spell, books, books, books, and we're still left with a big goose egg for our troubles." Willow told Buffy.  
  
  
  
"Yes, uh, goose egg indeed. I'm afraid there is nothing in the books, Buffy. As far as I've seen, at least."  
  
  
  
"Well we'll deal. There has to be something somewhere--- uh I'm gonna make a quick sweep through the cemeteries."  
  
  
  
As Buffy spoke Spike silently got up and left the house, prompting Buffy to excuse herself so she could talk to him.  
  
  
  
"Spike!" She called after him.  
  
  
  
"Spike!" She shouted as she grabbed his arm. "Don't do this."  
  
  
  
Spike whirled around. "Do what?" He asked sternly.  
  
  
  
"Walk away." She told him. "I thought you promised---"  
  
  
  
"That was before I knew I was in for a round of 'hide from the Scoobies for thou shall be shamed'." He paused and took a deep breath. "I should have known, though. I should have known you wouldn't be able to handle it."  
  
  
  
"Of course I wouldn't be able to handle it! I can't handle anything right now. My family, school, Glory . . . it's all way too much and the people that I need right now are my friends. Spike, the way they would judge me for even thinking about being with you I . . . I just can't lose my friends."  
  
  
  
"I understand that. And you don't have to lose your friends, Slayer--- you just have to lose me." He said before starting to walk off.  
  
  
  
"Do not do this," she pleaded, "do not walk away. You think we can't be together because I don't want to tell my friends? That is not the issue. I am good at keeping secrets, I've done it before."  
  
  
  
"That's just it, pet. I don't want to be another one of your secrets. I need them to know how you feel about me, about all this."  
  
  
  
"*I* don't even know how I feel! God, this started only a few days ago and I was fine until then. How am I supposed to tell them if I can't even tell myself!?" She paused. "Look, all I know is I am asking you to stay. That has got to mean something. Doesn't that mean something?"  
  
  
  
He didn't say anything, only stood there. This hadn't exactly been a surprise to him; he had never expected her to tell anyone. But he hadn't expected her to push him away because she was ashamed. Sure, he knew they would never understand why she wanted to be with him, he didn't even understand it.  
  
  
  
"Spike why are you doing this? We just went through this." She looked down at her feet. "I want you," she looked up at him, "I do. Can't you see that?" She paused for a minute and shook her head. "You're making this so hard. It doesn't make sense anymore."  
  
Spike stalked up to her, his face mere inches away. "And when did this ever make sense before?" He grabbed her arms and kissed her fiercely before walking away. If she really wanted him, she'd come.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Buffy slammed the door behind her before leaning against it and exhaling. It had been a long night. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. Long indeed. She took off her coat and threw it over the banister.  
  
  
  
"So, how did it go with Spike?"  
  
  
  
Buffy froze in the hallway. Dawn. She turned on her heels to face her sister. She really didn't have the energy to do this.  
  
  
  
"If your talking about research then I would have to say awful. We can't find anything on this new big bad."  
  
  
  
"Well, that's great and everything, but I meant Spike."  
  
  
  
Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but decided it best to change the subject entirely.  
  
  
  
"Dawn, go to bed."  
  
  
  
"You're not my mother." She pouted.  
  
  
  
"No," she said aggravation rising in her voice, "but your mother is---"  
  
  
  
"Right here." Spoke Joyce as she came out of the kitchen. Buffy shot Dawn an irritated glare and Dawn only smirked.  
  
  
  
Buffy rushed to her mother's side and held her arm. "Mom, what are you doing out of bed?"  
  
  
  
"Oh skip the questions and get straight to the part where I am too weak to be walking around."  
  
  
  
"You *are* too weak, mom. You just had major surgery, on your brain no less."  
  
  
  
Dawn swallowed and her face grew solemn. She hated to think about her mother's tumor. She hated to think about her mother lying, unconscious, on a table surrounded by doctors gossiping about weekend happenings while the prepped her mother to have a hole driven through her skull.  
  
  
  
The concern was evident to Buffy and to her mother.  
  
  
  
"Dawn, honey, why don't you go up to bed." Joyce said softly. Dawn nodded and smiled weakly before giving her mother a kiss.  
  
  
  
After Dawn was in her room Joyce turned to Buffy. "Buffy please---"  
  
  
  
"I know and I'm sorry I mentioned it in front of her but, mom, she's fourteen. She's mature enough to know exactly what is going on and deal. Or at least she should be."  
  
  
  
"Buffy it is bad enough that you have to deal with this, I don't want you to worry your sister."  
  
  
  
Buffy sighed and sat next to her mom on the sofa. "Alright." Was all she said, but it was enough to spark something in her mother's mind.  
  
  
  
"Buffy, are you alright?"  
  
  
  
Buffy turned to her mother. "No. I-I'm fine."  
  
  
  
"Maternal instincts, Buffy." She scolded.  
  
  
  
"Right, those. Really, I'm fine."  
  
  
  
"Is it Riley?" Her mother asked.  
  
  
  
Buffy laughed weakly. "Uh, no. Definitely not a Riley thing. I . . . I'm over that."  
  
  
  
"Then what is it. Slaying? Oh Buffy is it Dawn?" Joyce asked in alarm.  
  
  
  
"No." She confidently assured her. "Listen, it is really nothing important. I'm just gonna sleep on it and then, in the morning, I'll deal. And speaking of bed," Buffy looked at her watch, "isn't that where you should be headed right about now."  
  
  
  
Joyce sighed as Buffy helped her up, "A warrior and a nurse all in one."  
  
  
  
As they reached the top of the stairs, Joyce still held an uneasy feeling. "Buffy, you can tell me anything. I don't care what it is, I am here for you." She touched Buffy's face. "You're my precious."  
  
  
  
Buffy smiled and leaned into her mother's touch. "I know." She whispered, tears looming in her eyes. Why something so horrible had happened to somebody so incredible she would never be able to figure out. She let go of Joyce's arm and watched as she made her way to bed.  
  
  
  
"Goodnight, Buffy."  
  
  
  
"G'night, mom." She said before flipping the light switch, letting darkness engross the room.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Buffy flopped down on her bed and brought the sheets up over her body. She turned on her side and closed her eyes, letting her body relax. She was almost asleep before the phone rang.  
  
  
  
Buffy groaned and removed the phone from its cradle. There was only one person who would call this late at night.  
  
  
  
"Giles, I need sleep."  
  
  
  
"Yes, well I understand, but--- how did you know it was me?"  
  
  
  
"Lucky guess." She said wryly as she sat up letting her warm comforter bunch up around her waist. "What's up? Any new info."  
  
  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
  
  
"How not exactly?" Buffy asked.  
  
  
  
"It seems as if the only source of information we could find on this Glory was in England."  
  
  
  
"England? How did--- Giles, no."  
  
  
  
"Buffy, I am afraid we have no other choice. The Council is the only link we have to this . . . creature and we must take whatever we can get. I assure you they will not find out about or hurt Dawn."  
  
  
  
"Why would they hurt---" realization hit her, "--- Giles they're coming here?"  
  
  
  
"Buffy-"  
  
  
  
"Last time they were here you were fired, I was almost killed and so was my mom. I am not going to have them here putting her through that again. Things are bad enough as is."  
  
  
  
"There is no need for worry, Buffy. You're mother and Dawn will be safe, you have my word."  
  
  
  
Buffy couldn't think. This really was their only option. "What time?"  
  
  
  
Giles answered with an 'around ten' and gave a 'goodbye' and they both hung up.  
  
  
  
There was no way she would ever get to sleep now. She was stressed, frustrated, and angry on so many levels, but most of all she was scared.  
  
  
  
There was only one person she could talk to.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Please review! I need my inspiration!  
  
Next chapter should be up shortly. I have oodles of ideas now thanks to all of you! 


	7. Healthy Advice

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Now that gives new meaning to stating the obvious)  
A/N: OH GOD! So sorry this took so long. I know I said it would be here shortly, but I guess I was wrong. I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer making any promises about when later chapters will be out. My promises about timing are pretty much worthless and that is not fair to you for me to string you along. I apologize. But this chapter is finally here, so I really hope you enjoy.  
Thank you for your reviews!  
  
----I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE SPACING. IT JUST BECAME WONKY ALL OF THE SUDDEN. I HAVE TRIED MY BEST TO FIX IT. I KNOW IT IS A PAIN TO READ AND I AM SORRY. PLEASE DO TRY TO READ ANYWAY. THANK YOU----  
  
* * *  
As she walked to his crypt she thought of so many things to say. The words 'I'm sorry' continuously flashed in her head as she wrung her hands together nervously. She came to his door and decided it best to knock instead of her usual 'kick in the door' routine. After all, this was an apology visit.  
She knocked lightly but received no response. She knocked again, this time a bit harder. Nothing. She sighed and pushed open the door.  
"Spike?" She called as she slowly walked down the stairs. She stood on the hard cement and scanned the room.  
"Spike?" She asked again. She walked over and peered down the hole that led to the lower level of the crypt. Nobody was there.  
Buffy walked slowly towards the door, not really wanting to go. On her way she tripped over a stake randomly tossed in the middle of the room. Slayer reflexes failing to kick in, she fell towards the ground, her head hitting the cement.  
"Stupid dark." She grumbled as she pushed herself up, one hand on her head. She winced as she tried to step up on her left ankle and she leaned over to inspect the injury. Her ankle was a bit swollen and sore to touch and she decided best to stay until she could walk again. It was only coincidence that her heart was telling her to stay as well.  
She pushed herself up onto the plush, green chair strategically located in the middle of the room across from the television, diagonal from the fridge. She shrunk down in the seat and swung her legs over the edge of the chair, crossed her arms over her chest, and rested her head against the cushion beneath her. She closed her eyes and let the soft scent of cigarettes, alcohol, and the spice of his cologne envelops her. She let out a soft sigh and within minutes she was asleep.  
* * *  
Spike meandered into his crypt and stopped instantly. Even though his head throbbed from a recent battle it was obvious that somebody was there, in his crypt. He sniffed the air and a sweet, vanilla scent invaded his nose. He moved further into his home, hoping to god that it was not Harmony. He stopped behind his one and only chair and smiled at the sight of Buffy lying in his chair.  
She lay on her side, her golden locks sprawled over the edge of the chair along with on of her arms, and the other curled up under her side. Her mouth hung open, a small stream of drool leaked out the corner and small snorts escaped her lips. Her legs were flopped over the other edge of the seat, on boot hung loosely off her left foot. He to where her legs hanged and gently, so not to disturb her, lifted to boot off her foot. He winced a bit at the sight of her swollen and slightly bruised ankle.  
"Bloody dark." He muttered as he freed her foot from her other boot and let her feet breathe.  
He quietly sauntered over to the other side where her hand delicately draped over the edge of the chair. He sat and gently ran his hand through the hair that curtained her hand and then laced his fingers with hers. He kissed the back of her palm and rested his head up against the fabric of his chair and closing his eyes-he fell asleep.  
* * *  
Buffy groggily opened her eyes and groaned at the pain in her neck. Spike really needed to get more comfortable furniture, possibly a chair that seats two or more and has fewer lumps. A toilet would be good too, she though as she acknowledge the rowdiness of her bladder. She let out an "umph" as she turned on her stomach and grinned when she saw Spike, collapsed, on the ground next to her. His legs were sprawled on the cement and one hand was under his head. His other arm was stretched up, his fingertips lightly connecting with hers. She furrowed her brow in wonderment at how, through both of their tossing and turning, their hands both remained together. Not that she was complaining . . .  
She hated to wake him, but she really needed to go to the bathroom. She tightened her grip on his hand a bit, so it wouldn't fall, and gently shook it. He mumbled something but didn't wake. Buffy sighed and let go of his hand - the second she did his eyelids opened, revealing the sapphires that haunted her dreams.  
"Buffy?" He whispered as he lifted his head and his eyes found his hand empty.  
"Right here." She called, leaning over the side of the chair, her hair falling in her face.  
Spike smiled, an early morning smile, and sat up so his eyes met with hers. She looked gorgeous in the morning. Hair disheveled, imprints from the cushion embedded in her skin, a smiled mixed with exhaustion and delight, and her hazel eyes glimmered with relaxation. He reached a hand up and brushed the hair from her face and looped it behind her ears.  
She closed her eyes and smiled as his cool skin grazed her cheek and she couldn't help but think that right now, all this was perfect. And Spike - he was adorable.  
"How's you're ankle?"  
"Huh? Oh," Buffy had forgotten about last night's happenings, mostly because Slayer healing had kicked in and she felt fine. She looked down at her ankle and saw what she had suspected, a perfectly intact limb, "it's fine. Slayer healing is one of the pros of being a slayer."  
"Figured as much. When did you wa - what's wrong?" Spike asked as he saw a look of discomfort and uneasiness cross her face. "I thought you said you were okay?" He said as he moved toward her ankle.  
"No, Spike I am," she said as she grabbed his hand before he went to inspect her ankle. Her bladder had made its presence fully known again and as embarrassing as it was, "I really need to go to the bathroom." She winced.  
"Oh," Spike said taken aback. Seeing as how he hadn't had a need to use the bathroom in ages, it had been the last thing that he had expected to hear, "right. Well, you can't go here. Crypt, remember? Not many people in here usin' the facilities, luv."  
"Ugh, why can't you be like the rest of us and be alive!" She said as she stood up from the chair.  
"Well pet," he said, taking her arm, "that's the way the cookie crumbles."  
Buffy threw a confused glance his way and it quickly changed into a glare when she found him smirking. She jerked her arm away from him and he held his hands up in defense.  
"Whatever." She grumbled as she walk passed him and out his crypt. She stopped and looked back and saw him standing in the doorway.  
"Aren't - aren't you coming?" She asked.  
"Only a few minutes left 'till sunrise, luv. We'll never make it. Well, at least without me getting a little crispy that is."  
"If we run we can make it." She suggested.  
Spike looked Buffy up and down; her legs were crossed and she was wringing her hands together. "You think you're up for the challenge?"  
"Oh I know I am." Buffy said before taking off in a sprint, Spike following behind her.  
* * *  
"Better, luv?" Spike asked as Buffy closed the door behind her.  
She just shot him a glare as she walked passed him and down the stairs. He followed her and stood in the entryway to the family room while she sat on the sofa.  
"You're allowed to sit, y'know." She told him, but he didn't move.  
"Why did you come?" He asked out of the blue.  
"Care to specify?"  
"At my crypt, Buffy. I highly doubt you were there to catch some Z's in a lumpy old chair."  
"I think it's fairly obvious why I came."  
"Well, do tell 'cause as of right now, Slayer, I'm drawing a blank."  
Buffy sighed. "I came to apologize. Tell you I was sorry. Sorry for putting you in a position that is of no benefit to you. Sorry for yelling, for jumping to conclusions, for not fighting for you - going after you." Buffy moved from the couch and to Spike. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry." She whispered after she pulled back.  
Spike was taken back by her gestures. Buffy was one of the most stubborn women he had ever come across, but here she was apologizing to him. Spike leaned in and kissed her, his kiss being more passionate than hers had. He pulled away and smiled, placing a strand of hair behind her ears. "All is forgiven."  
Buffy stood in his arms for a few minutes before she remembered about the council - they're coming. She felt her stomach drop and her head instantly began to ache. She pulled away a bit and rubbed her temple with her fingertips.  
"Buffy? What's the matter?" He asked, concerned. He ran his hand up and down her back gently, causing her to relax.  
Buffy let out a deep breath and buried her head in his chest. "The council is coming today." She said, her voice muffled by his shirt.  
"Wha - Buffy why?"  
She pulled away from him and moved to the sofa, seating herself. Spike followed shortly. "Apparently they are the only ones who have any useful information on this . . . Glory. And we need they're resources or else we don't have anything to go on."  
"Well, then what's the problem? The more information the better I would assume."  
"Spike they last time they were here I - it's just . . . everytime they come my life just gets turned upside down. My family is always in danger when they are around, and now . . . with Dawn - "  
"Nibblet? What's she got to do with all of this?" Buffy looked at him, his eyes full with concern. She wanted to tell him, god she wanted to. She wanted to tell him everything, just let it all out. But she couldn't, she had made a promise to herself. She avoided his eyes and answered.  
"She's just too young for all of this. I don't want her going through anymore than she already has. And the Council - they're no good. Sure, they're supposed to be on our side, but . . .God they just frustrate me. They manage to just get under my skin and I just - I can't deal with it. I'm scared. For my family, my friends, myself," she looked back up at him and her eyes locked on his, "you. I don't want anybody getting hurt. Not this time."  
Spike sympathized with her. "Buffy, listen to me. The Council - they don't know what they're doing. They're even more in over their heads than you and your Scoobies. Sure they may have information, but who has the power? You do, luv. You are the only one. Use it. Don't let them intimidate you, luv. You're better than that, better than they are. Let them know that." He paused for a second to let her devour the information. "And if that doesn't work - throw a weapon or two."  
Buffy smiled and realized he was right. "Since when did you become all intuitive?" She asked, leaning into him.  
"There's a lot you don't know about me, luv." He said, pulling her into his lap.  
"Well then I have a lot to learn, don't I?" Spike laughed and kissed her neck. Buffy closed her eyes and relaxed.  
"Now *this* is comfortable." She told him.  
"Go to sleep." Spike whispered.  
"What about Dawn? My mom?" She asked, already beginning to fall asleep.  
"I'll wake you before they come down, luv. I promise."  
"No, Spike. You don't have to. I -"  
"I will, Buffy. Nobody finds out about us until you're good and ready. I understand that."  
"Thank you." She whispered before drifting off into a deep sleep.  
"I love you." Spike whispered to her as he stroked her hair and watched her sleep.  
* * *  
Thank you all so much for your reviews! Please keep them coming!  
The next chapter will have the Council and our favorite hell god Glory. So stay tuned! 


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